The closest I came to being bridezilla was telling my mom in an email that I don't like turquoise, but that she could wear a turquoise dress to my wedding if she really wants to. I don't know that I have it in me to be bridezilla anyway (gosh, I hope not), but from the very beginning of this engagement, I've been determined not to be it.
I fear there might be something worse than bridezilla. I think it might be more difficult for people to deal with bride-I-just-want-everyone-to-be-happy-and-have-a-good-time-so-I'm-always-changing-my-mind-about-what-I-really-want-for-the-wedding.
Some coworkers sweetly let me know I was crazy for telling four of my siblings that they could all stay with me in my 600-square-foot apartment for two days before the wedding. I think it will be lots of fun, and I'm never ever going to tell a family member that they can't stay with me—particularly considering the effort it takes to come to a wedding over 1,000 miles away. It will be like a bachelorette party. Only without all the yucky stuff. And with some of my favorite people, except without Man ... sad. So, okay, not really like a bachelorette party. But fun nevertheless, because my siblings are brilliant.
There was a moment at my third visit to the (second) tailor shop that I almost didn't tell them to adjust the dress again, because I hate being hard to please. But then I reminded myself that I did not pay all that money for alterations—they cost more than the dress itself—only to end up with a dress that puffs out in an unflattering way right at the belly.
Even when you try to keep things as simple as possible, planning a wedding is expensive and stressful. How expensive and stressful you would never know unless you've tried looking for bridal gowns (what the ...! is going on with those price tags??). I never realized before venturing into this world myself that some people will actually get a second job for a year or two just to pay for a wedding. My goal was just to manage it without cleaning out my entire savings account. My coworkers might marvel at how put-together I seem, and they might kindly observe that it must be because my focus is on the marriage rather than the wedding. Maybe that's true, but weddings are messy, and I don't think I'm as put together as I seemed during that conversation.
The last straw for this people-pleasing bride was being told that several members of the groom's extended family don't want to come unless there is a ring ceremony. There are only two weeks left before the wedding. I'm now planning one, but it makes me want to cry big tears. I may or may not have already cried big tears.
One day it will all be worth it. It is important to Man that these people come and have a good experience—and because it is important to him, it's important to me. We will look back on the day and just remember how nice it was to have all our family here to support us.
All the same, it's a good thing it's too late to elope.
