I am learning new dimensions about the truth of the pronouncement in 2 Nephi, "Men are, that they might have joy." There are few things as exhilarating as going out for a 10-mile run in the brand new autumn coolness, and getting to the top of a hill near the end, saying to yourself that nothing can stop me now! I raised my arms high up in the air, ran down that hill, and felt almost like I could fly.
I'm covered with salt and gross, but otherwise I feel more alive and more healthy than some days I ever dreamed possible.
Last week's post was all about failing cheerfully; this one is going to be all about succeeding cheerfully. In my 20s I learned cynicism, but now that I'm 30, I'm getting back my optimism. In a way, I feel like I've got my true self back. Or maybe that my life somehow started over without losing any of the experiences of the past. I wasn't there for the talk in Lubbock about the best day of my life, but I get it.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Man Looketh on the Outward Appearance
I used to make these cookies as a college student, and since I promised the little bro I would make him some cookies today, this seemed like a good choice. They always turned out so beautifully—soft and chewy and perfectly round. They even look a lot prettier in the pic than they do in real life. I have two guesses as to why they didn't turn out as I expected them to:
a) sour cream doesn't substitute in cookies the way it does in brownies (my brownies are always perfection), and
b) altitude
Oh, well. He wasn't going to be impressed anyway.
While I was doing homework, he decided to come hang out with me. I guess I'm not good company when I have a deadline.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Goals
I set goals, and I fail to meet them. I set more goals, and I fail to meet them ... and sometimes I set goals and manage to meet them. Today, unfortunately, was the first day since the beginning of June that I failed to meet my running goal. Monday is my day for long runs, and I was supposed to do 10 miles. I had to stop at 7.5. Totally unexpected. Boo.
On top of that, my love for running is being offset by the number of band-aids it is beginning to require.
But, on the bright side, I haven't quit yet, and since the beginning of the summer I've lost 16 pounds. It's kind of hard for other people to tell, because it's come off so gradually, and evenly distributed. Nonetheless, it is gone, and there's no reason to think that I can't keep it up.
Also, another distance runner approached me at the gym today, and we talked for a while about running events. He was very encouraging. It was nice to talk about it with someone who knows what it's like.
On top of that, my love for running is being offset by the number of band-aids it is beginning to require.
But, on the bright side, I haven't quit yet, and since the beginning of the summer I've lost 16 pounds. It's kind of hard for other people to tell, because it's come off so gradually, and evenly distributed. Nonetheless, it is gone, and there's no reason to think that I can't keep it up.
Also, another distance runner approached me at the gym today, and we talked for a while about running events. He was very encouraging. It was nice to talk about it with someone who knows what it's like.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Every so often
I just have to read a fluffy princess book with a cheesy love story. It's like a need. This week was Ella Enchanted, and I think what got it stuck in my craw was watching Confessions of a Shopaholic (horribly stupid movie that almost prompted a post on How to Write a Brainless, Formulaic Rom Com—I'll just sum it up here by asserting that they all have to do with glorifying the life of a liar). Hugh Dancy is in that movie. He is also in the movie version of Ella Enchanted (another horribly stupid movie).
Perhaps one of the differences between me and other women is not that I don't watch fewer chick-flicks—but that I hate myself after watching them.
There is slightly less personal loathing involved in reading a fluffy chick book, even if it was written for 10-year-olds. And at least in Ella Enchanted, the conflict was centered around a curse, rather than a big fat lie.
Perhaps one of the differences between me and other women is not that I don't watch fewer chick-flicks—but that I hate myself after watching them.
There is slightly less personal loathing involved in reading a fluffy chick book, even if it was written for 10-year-olds. And at least in Ella Enchanted, the conflict was centered around a curse, rather than a big fat lie.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Beowulf
I am reading Seamus Heaney's translation of Beowulf, and it is so beautiful I just can't say. I wonder if it's nerdy to enjoy reading the introduction of a story just as much as you enjoy the story itself? Well, nerdy or not, that's me.
One thing I found out in reading the intro to Beowulf is that Heaney feels like his own personal style has been heavily influenced by Gerard Manley Hopkins, who really is one of the greatest poets to date. I don't claim to be an authority on poetry, particularly the more modern varieties, and my own attempts at writing it are rather sad (with the exception of the Ode to My Pilot G2, which is apparently a hit with my friends, I don't even let other people read it), but Hopkins' words—to borrow some rather cliché similes—sparkle like sunlight and glitter like gold. If you haven't read Hopkins, rush out to the nearest source of poetry you can find, and devour it. I promise you, it's worth it—particularly "The Windhover."
The most wonderful part of Beowulf is the power that comes through alliteration. I vaguely remember having read Beowulf before, both in 8th grade Literature class, and possibly in college Humanities. And it's entirely possible that I was just so ignorant about poetry that I didn't notice any of the devices. It is also equally possible that the translators I read did not preserve them.
The truth that has dawned on me—and it's almost embarrassing that it has taken so long to hit home, English major and book lover that I am and always have been—is that language is powerful. Not stories, but words. If a person knows how to use words right, he/she has immense power. Well, I guess I always knew that, but to recognize that this is the reason that kids still need to study and understand poetry as part of their school curriculum, that was the new part. I almost wish to go back to my classroom with this perspective, to flood all my lessons with the all-powerful point that the reason I taught English was to give them the tools to be powerful and successful in their careers and in their relationships. Vocabulary, spelling practice, lessons in grammar and syntax, could all be tied directly back to the central goal:acquiring and using words to create a powerful persona.
Another kind of weird thing I am discovering is that for the several years I taught English, it was always a burden to teach comprehension strategies. I considered them rather useless, and even though we worked on them in class, I always felt a sense of futility. I favored the holistic approach to reading, the one that assumes that with an increased background knowledge and practice, practice, practice, anyone can become a good reader. I don't remember having ever been taught comprehension strategies myself; well, actually, I do, but I always disregarded them because I never needed them. Anyone else remember being contemptuous of the SQ3R method? I never used it. I read my assigned reading passages, answered the questions, and went eagerly back to real reading, which was always a fiction novel. I didn't need to consciously survey the passage, form questions, read, recite, and review. I was a natural at reading the way I was never a natural at anything involving physical coordination.
Oddly enough, I find myself using that method now. I can't decide if it's because I was required to teach it as part of the curriculum I used as a teacher in preparation for the TAKS test, or if really I was using it the whole time and just didn't know it. Most notably, I've been taking notes in a little book, and most of my notes are questions—questions which are at least partially answered through further reading.
Thus, there are several reasons why I am loving Beowulf. The story itself is violent and not particularly endearing, and it's no wonder a lot of people hate it. As a cultural study, it's interesting, but only at a cursory level. But rendered through the beautiful efforts of someone who must love Hopkins much more than I do, it's lovely to read.
Next up: Grendel. So far, it's weird.
One thing I found out in reading the intro to Beowulf is that Heaney feels like his own personal style has been heavily influenced by Gerard Manley Hopkins, who really is one of the greatest poets to date. I don't claim to be an authority on poetry, particularly the more modern varieties, and my own attempts at writing it are rather sad (with the exception of the Ode to My Pilot G2, which is apparently a hit with my friends, I don't even let other people read it), but Hopkins' words—to borrow some rather cliché similes—sparkle like sunlight and glitter like gold. If you haven't read Hopkins, rush out to the nearest source of poetry you can find, and devour it. I promise you, it's worth it—particularly "The Windhover."
The most wonderful part of Beowulf is the power that comes through alliteration. I vaguely remember having read Beowulf before, both in 8th grade Literature class, and possibly in college Humanities. And it's entirely possible that I was just so ignorant about poetry that I didn't notice any of the devices. It is also equally possible that the translators I read did not preserve them.
The truth that has dawned on me—and it's almost embarrassing that it has taken so long to hit home, English major and book lover that I am and always have been—is that language is powerful. Not stories, but words. If a person knows how to use words right, he/she has immense power. Well, I guess I always knew that, but to recognize that this is the reason that kids still need to study and understand poetry as part of their school curriculum, that was the new part. I almost wish to go back to my classroom with this perspective, to flood all my lessons with the all-powerful point that the reason I taught English was to give them the tools to be powerful and successful in their careers and in their relationships. Vocabulary, spelling practice, lessons in grammar and syntax, could all be tied directly back to the central goal:acquiring and using words to create a powerful persona.
Another kind of weird thing I am discovering is that for the several years I taught English, it was always a burden to teach comprehension strategies. I considered them rather useless, and even though we worked on them in class, I always felt a sense of futility. I favored the holistic approach to reading, the one that assumes that with an increased background knowledge and practice, practice, practice, anyone can become a good reader. I don't remember having ever been taught comprehension strategies myself; well, actually, I do, but I always disregarded them because I never needed them. Anyone else remember being contemptuous of the SQ3R method? I never used it. I read my assigned reading passages, answered the questions, and went eagerly back to real reading, which was always a fiction novel. I didn't need to consciously survey the passage, form questions, read, recite, and review. I was a natural at reading the way I was never a natural at anything involving physical coordination.
Oddly enough, I find myself using that method now. I can't decide if it's because I was required to teach it as part of the curriculum I used as a teacher in preparation for the TAKS test, or if really I was using it the whole time and just didn't know it. Most notably, I've been taking notes in a little book, and most of my notes are questions—questions which are at least partially answered through further reading.
Thus, there are several reasons why I am loving Beowulf. The story itself is violent and not particularly endearing, and it's no wonder a lot of people hate it. As a cultural study, it's interesting, but only at a cursory level. But rendered through the beautiful efforts of someone who must love Hopkins much more than I do, it's lovely to read.
Next up: Grendel. So far, it's weird.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
On Books (Part Seven)
Last night I looked at t-shirts and bumper stickers at an online store. The featured artwork? Bibliophiles and librarians, of course.
Among my favorite designs was one featuring a cat curled up on top of an open book, and printed under it the words "All books belong to me." This combines two of my favorite things: books and cats. And I like them both for similar reasons, actually.
Really? What can possibly be similar about a cat and a book? Just one thing: you can love them without surrendering your own independence. Unlike dogs, who regardless of how laudably loyal and happy and unselfish and noble they are, are needy. Aside from all the drool and the smell and the kibble and the barking and the fact that they'll eat anything (ew), dogs just need too much attention. Cats, on the other hand, have no issue with self-esteem. If you choose not to hang out with them for a while, they don't get all emotional about it. They're too well-adjusted to really care if you don't like sleeping with them plastered against your body. A book is kind of like that too. You can start to read it, then get distracted and leave it somewhere for days, weeks, months, even years sometimes ... and when you come back to it, nothing has changed but yourself.
There is another very weird thing about me. I have allowed both cats and books to be in the bed with me when I sleep.
P.S. I downloaded iBooks and got all the ones I wanted from Project Gutenberg. Not sure how much I'll actually use it, though. And I also sleep with my phone.
Among my favorite designs was one featuring a cat curled up on top of an open book, and printed under it the words "All books belong to me." This combines two of my favorite things: books and cats. And I like them both for similar reasons, actually.
Really? What can possibly be similar about a cat and a book? Just one thing: you can love them without surrendering your own independence. Unlike dogs, who regardless of how laudably loyal and happy and unselfish and noble they are, are needy. Aside from all the drool and the smell and the kibble and the barking and the fact that they'll eat anything (ew), dogs just need too much attention. Cats, on the other hand, have no issue with self-esteem. If you choose not to hang out with them for a while, they don't get all emotional about it. They're too well-adjusted to really care if you don't like sleeping with them plastered against your body. A book is kind of like that too. You can start to read it, then get distracted and leave it somewhere for days, weeks, months, even years sometimes ... and when you come back to it, nothing has changed but yourself.
There is another very weird thing about me. I have allowed both cats and books to be in the bed with me when I sleep.
P.S. I downloaded iBooks and got all the ones I wanted from Project Gutenberg. Not sure how much I'll actually use it, though. And I also sleep with my phone.
Hello!
Today the Senior Primary group welcomed me to Primary by singing "The Hello Song." Apart from being embarrassed, I was relieved that because I was the new person, the Primary president led the song, because honestly, I've never been crazy about that song.
I have this attitude about music sometimes ... and Primary songs are usually top on my list of Music That Makes Me Want to Roll My Eyes. This would be why I have just been invited to accept a calling as the Primary Chorister. Not only do I get to listen to the Primary songs every week, I get to sing them by myself, sing them with kids, design and play games about the songs, and teach the words to the kids. Yay!
Actually, the "yay" was only part sarcasm. It's a little shocking, I know, but I am having fun learning all the verses to "Follow the Prophet." This is one of the biggest ironies of my personal life to date, yet I'm going to embrace it with all my heart.
I am a child of God!
I have this attitude about music sometimes ... and Primary songs are usually top on my list of Music That Makes Me Want to Roll My Eyes. This would be why I have just been invited to accept a calling as the Primary Chorister. Not only do I get to listen to the Primary songs every week, I get to sing them by myself, sing them with kids, design and play games about the songs, and teach the words to the kids. Yay!
Actually, the "yay" was only part sarcasm. It's a little shocking, I know, but I am having fun learning all the verses to "Follow the Prophet." This is one of the biggest ironies of my personal life to date, yet I'm going to embrace it with all my heart.
I am a child of God!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
On Books (Part Six)
I just finished reading a book for teens that will remain unnamed. If you want to know what it is and you can't guess, I can tell you in person, but I'm finished blogging about living authors who are still working on their careers, unless I only say nice things about them. And I'm going to say some not nice things about this book.
First of all, it was the finale of a series. I don't really like series books, with the exception of Harry Potter. I do read series often enough, but it's more in the form of professional development than recreation. I work in schools, so I feel I should read teen books; particularly the ones that are wildly popular.
This series has never been my favorite. It's too violent, too disturbing, and too vague. I never got very grounded in the world it took place in, and I think most of the reason is that the author him/herself didn't have a concept of where exactly it was going until the series as a whole was half over. I could be wrong about that. Maybe I just read it too fast. But this is the type of book you must read quickly. You can't hover over words and sentences; you can't digest any of the details because you have to find out what happens next. I agree that for a good story the stakes have to be high, but this was over the top. By the end, I had to be dead to all feeling because it was too much. The semi-happy ending wasn't even happy to me; I guess that bothers me the most because it's not supposed to be. The author crafted the story in such a way that there was never a possibility of a happy ending, and yet, it couldn't be tragedy because the main character was narrator--present tense narrator, I might add.
The series is obviously a tremendous achievement, and one that I could never hope to come close to. The next to last book, typically, ended up unraveling every knot it could, leaving the readers hanging in the most suspenseful way possible. The finale tied up all the knots neatly enough, I think. And yet, there are just too many things about it I don't like, and too many things about the ending that dissatisfy and annoy me.
It's always true in a story of suspense like this that people die. People you care about die. But the ones who died in this one, rather than bringing the story full-circle, just seemed to de-legitimize everything that happened, and by the time it was final, it was impossible to believe there was any reason for the story to go on. The protagonist had been through the wringer ten too many times by then, realistically falling apart after each one, and I really got tired of reading about how she had to deal with the worst case scenario over and over and over and over.
In spite of the gentle denouement, there was really no note of hope for the future and no reason for the characters to keep going. Just too depressing. I think I'll lay off teen books again for a while.
First of all, it was the finale of a series. I don't really like series books, with the exception of Harry Potter. I do read series often enough, but it's more in the form of professional development than recreation. I work in schools, so I feel I should read teen books; particularly the ones that are wildly popular.
This series has never been my favorite. It's too violent, too disturbing, and too vague. I never got very grounded in the world it took place in, and I think most of the reason is that the author him/herself didn't have a concept of where exactly it was going until the series as a whole was half over. I could be wrong about that. Maybe I just read it too fast. But this is the type of book you must read quickly. You can't hover over words and sentences; you can't digest any of the details because you have to find out what happens next. I agree that for a good story the stakes have to be high, but this was over the top. By the end, I had to be dead to all feeling because it was too much. The semi-happy ending wasn't even happy to me; I guess that bothers me the most because it's not supposed to be. The author crafted the story in such a way that there was never a possibility of a happy ending, and yet, it couldn't be tragedy because the main character was narrator--present tense narrator, I might add.
The series is obviously a tremendous achievement, and one that I could never hope to come close to. The next to last book, typically, ended up unraveling every knot it could, leaving the readers hanging in the most suspenseful way possible. The finale tied up all the knots neatly enough, I think. And yet, there are just too many things about it I don't like, and too many things about the ending that dissatisfy and annoy me.
It's always true in a story of suspense like this that people die. People you care about die. But the ones who died in this one, rather than bringing the story full-circle, just seemed to de-legitimize everything that happened, and by the time it was final, it was impossible to believe there was any reason for the story to go on. The protagonist had been through the wringer ten too many times by then, realistically falling apart after each one, and I really got tired of reading about how she had to deal with the worst case scenario over and over and over and over.
In spite of the gentle denouement, there was really no note of hope for the future and no reason for the characters to keep going. Just too depressing. I think I'll lay off teen books again for a while.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
On Books (Part Five)
I'm reading a book about famous military villains. The first chapter was on Spartacus. As a result, I'm highly interested in learning more about the Roman Empire. The second chapter features Attila the Hun, who is slightly less interesting, for some reason. Maybe it's because the novelty has worn off, and the book ... well, let's just say the writer is passable. I would think historical biographies would be difficult to write in an engaging way. Several people manage to pull it off quite well, but it seems a relatively rare skill.
Because I was prompted by one of my blog followers (yes, I'm making it sound like my blog is actually famous, rather than the truth that only 2 or 3 people ever look at it), I'm going to introduce here my new project, which is going to make me look like a genuine dork, but oh well. I've always thought I wanted to do an advanced degree in literature, but it doesn't seem like a good idea. I've read several articles that say that the majority of people with PhDs in English do not work full-time in their field. It makes sense. Tons of people love to read, but how many English professors are necessary out there? I value the research they do, but it's hard to contribute to a body of knowledge and ideas already so saturated. Another point, raised during a conversation I had with a friend, is that there's so little action involved in the study of literature—it's more about idly discussing ideas than it is actually doing anything truly useful. So, it seemed to me that if I did that, it wouldn't really get me anywhere professionally. That leaves only one reason to do it—personal enrichment. Now, personal enrichment is a wonderful thing, but not financially sound when you consider the cost of tuition and everything else that goes into getting any kind of formal education. Besides, I'm wary of academic agendas, and I don't like the study of literary theory. This was one of the reasons behind the career decision I made a few years ago, and why I decided to pursue the degree program I did.
However and therefore, in lieu of pursuing more formal education in literature, I have designed my own course of study, with classes, syllabuses, and everything. I am designing my own program, based solely on my own interests and goals, and I will award myself some sort of diploma at the end, after I have complete a certain number of fictional hours. And I have made sure to design the classes so that they are more than just a reading list, although they are all mostly based on reading lists.
There is always the objection that an education designed by oneself can never be as challenging as one designed by an expert, and that I'm only going off what I already know, rather than being introduced to new horizons. That is regrettable, but I'm sure I'll still get a lot of valuable knowledge from my endeavor. Here's my course listing:
* Classics I (Homer, Virgil, Aeschylus, Sophocles, Plato, Aristotle, Catullus, Ovid, Beowulf, Marie de France, etc.)
* Military History (Sun Tsu and study of warriors including Ghengis Khan, Attila the Hun, William the Conqueror, Napoleon)
* World Mythology
* Science Fiction and Fantasy Worldbuilding
* Christianity in Literature
* Rhetoric and Language
* Spanish
* Music History
* Film
* Writing Fiction
* Advanced Victorian and Early Modern Literature
* Classics II (Chaucer, Boccaccio, Petrarch, Machiavelli, Montaigne, Cervantes, Milton)
* Advanced Shakespeare
This should be highly enjoyable.
Because I was prompted by one of my blog followers (yes, I'm making it sound like my blog is actually famous, rather than the truth that only 2 or 3 people ever look at it), I'm going to introduce here my new project, which is going to make me look like a genuine dork, but oh well. I've always thought I wanted to do an advanced degree in literature, but it doesn't seem like a good idea. I've read several articles that say that the majority of people with PhDs in English do not work full-time in their field. It makes sense. Tons of people love to read, but how many English professors are necessary out there? I value the research they do, but it's hard to contribute to a body of knowledge and ideas already so saturated. Another point, raised during a conversation I had with a friend, is that there's so little action involved in the study of literature—it's more about idly discussing ideas than it is actually doing anything truly useful. So, it seemed to me that if I did that, it wouldn't really get me anywhere professionally. That leaves only one reason to do it—personal enrichment. Now, personal enrichment is a wonderful thing, but not financially sound when you consider the cost of tuition and everything else that goes into getting any kind of formal education. Besides, I'm wary of academic agendas, and I don't like the study of literary theory. This was one of the reasons behind the career decision I made a few years ago, and why I decided to pursue the degree program I did.
However and therefore, in lieu of pursuing more formal education in literature, I have designed my own course of study, with classes, syllabuses, and everything. I am designing my own program, based solely on my own interests and goals, and I will award myself some sort of diploma at the end, after I have complete a certain number of fictional hours. And I have made sure to design the classes so that they are more than just a reading list, although they are all mostly based on reading lists.
There is always the objection that an education designed by oneself can never be as challenging as one designed by an expert, and that I'm only going off what I already know, rather than being introduced to new horizons. That is regrettable, but I'm sure I'll still get a lot of valuable knowledge from my endeavor. Here's my course listing:
* Classics I (Homer, Virgil, Aeschylus, Sophocles, Plato, Aristotle, Catullus, Ovid, Beowulf, Marie de France, etc.)
* Military History (Sun Tsu and study of warriors including Ghengis Khan, Attila the Hun, William the Conqueror, Napoleon)
* World Mythology
* Science Fiction and Fantasy Worldbuilding
* Christianity in Literature
* Rhetoric and Language
* Spanish
* Music History
* Film
* Writing Fiction
* Advanced Victorian and Early Modern Literature
* Classics II (Chaucer, Boccaccio, Petrarch, Machiavelli, Montaigne, Cervantes, Milton)
* Advanced Shakespeare
This should be highly enjoyable.
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